This post’s topic is a bit similar to yesterday’s, if I knew what I was doing then I would’ve prevented this from happening, but I’m not. So how have I changed since 5 years ago?
5 years ago I was 12 and in year 7 at school, that seems like such a long time ago now! This wasn’t a particularly good time, nothing specifically bad happened, but I wasn’t very happy. I had just started a new school, I was a little fish in a big pond, it was scary. My best friend moved up to the same secondary school as me, so that was some reassurance, but I was still the weird ginger kid with triangle hair and awkward behaviour. New people didn’t particularly want to be my friend, no one was particularly nasty that I know of, I was just painfully self conscious so I think most of it was in my head. I do remember that the year above me was particularly scary, I clearly remember walking into the toilets one day and someone shouting ‘ginger bitch’ at me. I was only a innocent little girl who’d done nothing wrong, so that obviously stuck with me.
I based too much of my happiness on boys, and whether or not they liked me, with the description from before, I’m sure you can guess that I wasn’t really that popular with them, it also didn’t help that my best friend was such a hit with them. This made me mardy a lot of the time; for no apparent reason, which sucked.
My best friend was suddenly thrust into the limelight, everyone either loved her or hated her; there was one girl who constantly was trying to shove me out of the picture (this all sounds so trivial to me now, but it obviously meant a lot to me at the time!), which made me upset numerous times. People always seemed to be arguing with her too, I stuck by her but it seemed to get to me a lot more than to her.
Reading this back it seems very rambly (it’s a word!) but that’s how I felt then; all over the place, confused as to why I was sad all the time, mood swings and transitioning from a child into a teenager. Now I am pleased to say that I am a lot happier with my life, I still feel a bit stuck in a rut like I said here, but the sunny weather and even writing that blog post seems to be helping that. Everything is good in the life of Abbie and I hope it will stay that way!