Daily Prompt: Is it easy for you to ask for help when you need it, or do you prefer to rely only on yourself? Why?
I don’t find it easy asking for help, I think that is partially because I’m just generally really stubborn and just like to be right. But I think there is more than that to it.
Amongst my friends I am known as the clever one, in my school I get the best exam results and over the past few years this has built me up in many people’s minds to be some sort of a genius (not true). Not just in school work, but in applying for university and general questions people have about pretty much anything, they come to me about. In one way it’s lovely that people have such a high opinion of me, but it gets to the point where everyone’s expectations of me are so high that I’m struggling to keep up with myself. Last results day (August) before I collected my results, I was nervous, like everybody else, but apparently my nerves aren’t allowed because of course I will always get straight As. When people ask how I’ve done in exams, I get the eye-rolling ‘you would do well’ look, as if I haven’t worked my bum off for the past 2 or 3 months when they’ve been messing around uninterested.
So with people having a high opinion of me, it means that when I don’t understand, or when I need help I feel as though I can’t ask for it. People take that as some sort of victory, they love ‘beating’ me, it is an ego boost for them (although I don’t see how it should be because I’m really not that clever). Me being pretty stubborn and not liking to admit defeat, I will just carry on struggling until I eventually get so mardy that no one would want to help me anyway.