It’s been a while since I was last here. In that time a lot has gone on in my life, you could say it has been turned upside down.
The first thing that happened was that I broke up with my boyfriend at the end of October. We had been together for nearly two and a half years and I found out that he had been basically behaving badly for more than half of the relationship, despite coming across as the perfect boyfriend. I never thought that I would break up with him, but I think that doing so has shown that I am stronger than I thought. After spending so much of my teenage life in a relationship I was so worried that I would retreat back into my shell and turn back into that shy girl I was before. Instead I feel like my confidence has grown and I can be happy as an individual. Obviously I am heartbroken and it is horrible having to be strong as he tries to persuade me to get back together with him when a big part of me really wants that, but I know that I would never be able to trust him properly again.
The other thing that happened was that my Grandpa passed away. He was diagnosed with lung cancer in the summer and was told that it was terminal. My family always have been very close so this was devastating news. My Grandpa was only given a few weeks to live, but that turned out to be 3 months, proving how much of a fighter he was. He died late November and the funeral was a couple of weeks ago, so it has been a pretty traumatic time for us all. He was such an amazing person and I love him so so much. He was definitely an inspiration.
My friends have been a Godsend throughout all of this and them telling me that I’m being strong helps me to keep going. It has made me realise that I have a lot of people who really do care about me, even teachers, and that I need to cherish every moment and live life to the full, remembering that it is ok to be upset sometimes, but to keep going anyway.