Please Buy This Piece of Junk

Daily PromptThe year is 2214, and your computer’s dusty hard drive has just resurfaced at an antique store. Write a note to the curious buyer explaining what he or she will find there

Dear Buyer,

I apologise in advance for the rubbish you have just undoubtedly wasted your money on; unless I’m famous by now, then scrap that. Unfortunately there isn’t much to find on this ancient piece of technology, well not anything of much use anyway, please don’t be expecting to find some undiscovered family secret on here, or the missing link to lead you to the meaning of life (which of course you should already know is 42).

In reality the majority of what you will find on here is work, mostly old A-level work, a couple of GCSE essays maybe, and even some of my newer university tasks if you’re lucky (although maybe lucky isn’t the word). What you will most definitely find is approximately 100 drafts of that all dreaded personal statement I had to write for UCAS last year, and I can bet that’s a cringy read, even for you, who doesn’t know who I am. Just know that it did actually work, however bad it may seem now, it managed to get me 3 interviews back in 2014.

Delving a bit deeper into the midst of the hard drive, you may come across something far more embarrassing than an old personal statement; you will come across my diary. This is one of many diaries that I kept when I was younger, some were paper (what a shame you’re missing out on those), but at least two were electronic. Now please don’t judge me, I was an embarrassing pre-teen with an incredibly large crush on whichever boy had caught my eye in that stage. If you don’t fancy reading the not-so insightful ramblings of an obsessive 12 year old, then I would advise you to give those a miss. Whilst you’re ignoring those then you might as well skip over the even more humiliating ‘song lyrics’ document that I created when I was convinced I was some sort of lyrical genius, they really serve no purpose other than to turn the heat on my cheeks up to full. I can assure you, you will find no undiscovered gem of a song there, seriously.

My pictures, they are something else. Fairly well organised into different folders depending on subject, I am sure you will find it easy to navigate your way around the past 4 years of my life. Unfortunately the majority of the photos on this hard drive are actually from before I sorted out my hair and got a middle parting, so you will have to forgive the ugliness, or at least try your best. Try not to dwell too much on the folder of me and my ex-boyfriend, no I don’t know why I’ve still got it either.

The only thing really left to explain is my music collection, I’ll warn you now, it’s not up to date for 2014, so I really don’t think it will be overly popular 200 years from now. Nevertheless there is quite a range of styles of music for all different moods, angry to sad to happy (although probably not enough of that) to just relaxed. I would apologise for it, but then I enjoy listening to it and after all it was my hard drive to start with.

I feel like I probably haven’t sold this piece of junk very well, so lets hope that you’re reading this after the purchase; for the store owner’s sake. If not then I would still recommend you buy because it served me well and held the majority of my life for a while, if for nothing else then it will probably give you a good laugh.

From,

The past

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